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A Grimy Valentine

by Adam Waldorf

 

So you’re extremely broke, but you’re in a committed relationship or with someone you’d like to spend Valentine’s Day with. You don’t wanna stay inside all night, but discretionary income is hovering close to zero.

I have a solution to your problem: A night of cheap, grimy fun!

This requires maybe a few bucks, an ID stating that you’re 21 years or older and a willingness to descend into the cesspool that is East Atlanta’s DIY rock scene.

You’re gonna want to get to 529 Flat Shoals Avenue to the cleverly named venue known as “529.” A music club known for its free rock shows, hip-hop shows and cheap beer. Save for the music, it would certainly be a dive bar.

It’s a smoky little slice of paradise and on Valentine’s night they’re hosting Atlanta’s best psychedelic rock band, Abby Gogo, and San Francisco garage band Royal Baths.

With $2.50 Pabst Blue Ribbons,  you can splurge a little on your significant other (but call it PBR, otherwise the bartender will just look at you funny). Nothing like cheap beer to help you savor the romance in the air.

After you’ve watched Abby Gogo you’re gonna want another beer, but your pocket won’t want to pay for it.

Now, I don’t endorse theft, but there are left over beers just sitting around out there. Just grab a few, nobody will even notice and they probably won’t even miss them.

So the concert ends and you’re hungry.

Good news, there are 24 hour Krystal’s and McDonald’s right down the street. You can get out of there for about five dollars between two people.

Now, it’s time to drive home. Luckily, you’d gone to the new GPC Health Center earlier that day and gotten some free condoms.

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