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No strings attached: Modern American hook-up culture

By: Kezia Velista

“Do you wanna hang out? ;)”

When you get a text like this, it doesn’t really mean your average, “dinner and a movie” or “going to the park to get to know you” anymore.

Almost always, “hanging out” means banging at some point and if it goes well, you’ll be steady hook-up buddies. If not, then see you never.

This may be something we think is novel and frowned upon for our generation, but I recently spoke to a friend of mine who’s in her thirties, and she said her generation was also just as loose and casual, but using different outlets other than the internet. It turns out that every generation is in fact loose, and it’s not just us.

With the rising popularity of apps and websites like Tinder, Grindr, and OKCupid,  it’s becoming so incredibly easy to have sex with someone in matter of hours of meeting him or her, hence creating this modern American hook-up culture.

Casual sex is something that you shouldn’t feel bad about and I’m saying that for everyone; it doesn’t matter if you’re a man, woman, or half-centaur. Everything boils down to us being mammals and being human, we have the urge to bang.

There are some things that I do need to address though, because when you are steadily banging someone…casually, feelings and emotions can develop.

First of all, a date isn’t really a date. Nowadays a date is usually getting drinks or having dinner, in hopes of having sex later on. Again, this isn’t just geared towards men— women do it too!

Other than that, there’s a difference between “hanging out,” “dating” and “seeing each other.” Everybody seems to have their own definitions but usually, dating is an actual exclusive relationship.

Seeing each other could mean that both parties have made it aware that they’re attracted to one another, spending time together, but not officially. In some cases, partners who are seeing each other can also be involved with other people.

Hanging out is basically the term we would use for two people who are friends with benefits.

Most people probably have more sexual partners than they are willing to admit. My question is, do you really care? Does anybody really care anymore?

If you’re reading this you might be thinking, well, a girl’s vagina can turn loose and beef curtain-like after multiple partners.

That’s actually a myth, that part of the woman is incredibly elastic and…that can be a different story. My point is, if you’re having lots of sex, it probably means you’re great looking, have a high libido, and good in bed—which to me seems like positive traits in a partner.

Finally, referring back to naming your arrangements and relationships, nobody really likes to do it, nobody really likes to bring it up.

This dates back to the whole, “labels are for soup cans” statement when we used heavy Myspace graphics on our profiles, so I guess not that much about us has changed has it?

People don’t want to be stuck, but at the same time we want to feel grounded and because the norm is considered to be monogamous relationships.

We want to be the ones in our friends’ circle that says, “My significant other and I…”

No matter where you stand on this whole casual sex idea that’s clearly spreading, you do have to admit that it’s slowly not becoming such a big deal. Like Journalism major Iqbal Chowdhury says, “It’s normal and media is number one. The younger generation will eventually look up to us and since everything is so out in the open with Snapchat or Instagram, there’s no way of really stopping it.”

He’s actually a minority in the sense that he isn’t for just blatantly getting laid.

Whatever you decide to do, I just have one piece of advice, and that is to stay safe—use protection and contraception. Your happiness is what’s most important but also your health.

About Farhin Lilywala

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